Commit to Memory
by XX00Meg00XX
Summary: " He's been home a week and they've only managed a kiss here or there, soft fleeting touches that say nothing of the couple they were before this happened." A scene insert for 7X02 "Montreal".


**A/N: A scene insert for 7X02: What happens after Kate talks to Lanie. Rated M for a reason, if it's not your thing please don't read any further. All mistakes are my own. The song lyrics used below are from "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz, this fic is all I could think about when I was listening to it the other day.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or anything associated with the show. It's just so damn inspiring though.**

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**Commit to Memory**

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She can't stand it anymore; she has to talk to Castle. Talking to Lanie only made her want the old them back even more. The love is still there, but the connection is missing and she longs to have it back. She takes one last look at her paperwork and then she packs up her stuff, it's time to reestablish that connection. She sends him a text as the elevator door's slide closed.

"_Heading home. We need some time alone, it's important. Can you send Martha and Alexis to the Four Seasons for the night?"_

She doesn't even make it to her car before her phone chimes with his response.

"_Already working on it. See you soon."_

She notices the town car pulling away as she parks her cruiser in its parking place and she smiles at the fact that he fulfilled her request so quickly. They've talked since he's been back, but they haven't really discussed their sex life. She thought she'd want to jump him as soon as he was found, but certain circumstances got in the way. She needs to make sure he knows she believes in him and still wants him as much as she always has.

When she enters the loft she's met with silence and she slips off her heels by the door, padding softly into their bedroom. He's waiting for her there, resting comfortably on the bed.

"Hey," she says softly as she climbs on to the bed beside him.

"Hi, I did as you asked. Is everything okay, Kate?"

Her eyebrows knit together as she contemplates how she's going to approach the conversation. "Castle, before you were found I kept telling myself that when we did find you, I was going to drag you in here and show you just how much I missed you. When I got the news that you'd been found I was so torn. I wanted to be the one to find you so badly, but the evidence was so well planted, it caused doubt that never should have been there."

She brushes a tear away as it slides down her cheek. "I was so focused on the story, on wanting to know what happened. I needed an explanation that would tell me why you were taken and prove that none of the stuff we discovered was true. I made a mistake though. I never should have wanted anything more than I wanted you."

Castle has been silent until now, letting her get out what she has to say, but he sits forward and places his hand on her knee. "Kate…"

She holds up her hand to stop him. "Let me finish saying this, please. I need you to know that I trust you completely, Castle. I never stopped trusting you. I let the evidence get in my head, but my heart was always on your side."

This time she lets the tears fall, unable to hold back the emotions. She's cried for months, but the tears still seem to come. "I miss us, Rick. I miss our connection. I miss it so much."

She buries her head in her hands letting the roaring ache of her battered heart take over. He's been home a week and they've only managed a kiss here or there, soft fleeting touches that say nothing of the couple they were before this happened.

She feels him shift beside her and then he wraps her in his arms. She has to fight back more tears as his strong arms engulf her slender frame. She missed those arms.

He presses his lips to the soft skin below her ear as he holds her. "Let's get it back, let's get our connection back."

She shivers as his breath coats her skin and she lifts her head to look into his eyes. "I don't want to pressure you, if you're not ready I understand. I know when you woke up it only felt like a day, but for me it's been two months of wondering if I'd ever feel your body against mine again. I just want that back, but I'm willing to wait."

He brushes a stand of her hair behind her ear as he eases her down onto the bed. "There's one connection we've always had, Kate, even before we got together. We need this and there's nothing I want more than to reconnect with you."

He hovers over her for a moment, staring down at her with such reverence it almost makes her weep again. "Reconnect with me, please, Rick. I love you so much."

He leans down slowly, and the first press of his lips to hers has her arching off the bed, struggling to get closer to him. She wants to drink him in, to press her lonely body up against his and never leave the comfort of his touch.

He pulls away from her kiss deprived lips way too soon for her liking and she whimpers her protest, wrapping her arms around him so that he can't go far. The smile that spreads across his face is the first she's seen since he came home and it's never been more beautiful.

"There's something that I want to do, something that I need to do if it's okay with you."

His words are a softly spoken question and yet she hears the silent pleading in them. She nods at him, urging him to voice is request.

"I want to relearn your body. In my mind it still doesn't feel like I've been gone two months, but my body feels it. I want to commit everything about you, about this to memory."

She lifts up so that she can steal another kiss from him, forcing herself to pull back even though she doesn't want to. "I'm all yours, babe."

He reaches for the hem of her shirt, slowly lifting it over her head and tossing it to the floor. His eyes are so tender and regarding that she has to close her eyes to keep from sobbing again. He reaches around and unhooks her bra, sliding each strap down her arms one at a time. Her eyes are still closed as she waits for him to remove the rest of her clothing, but instead she feels his lips at her shoulder.

Her eyes flutter open and he lifts his head looking at her with such intensity that she's sure he can see her soul. He brushes his lips against her forehead before working his way down to kiss first one eyelid and then the other. When her eyes open again he's watching her and she wonders if he can see the way her body is responding to him.

_When I look into your eyes,_

_It's like watching the night sky,_

_Or a beautiful sunrise, there's so much they hold._

"Your eyes are so beautiful, others may not have been able to see inside, but they truly are the window to your soul. I can't believe I went two months without being able to look into them."

He moves on to her cheeks, kissing each one and letting his lips graze her skin as he moves to her neck. "You're so strong. I don't know how many tears fell down your cheeks while I was gone, but I hope I'm never the cause of your tears again. You've come so far, Kate."

_And just like them old stars,_

_I see that you've come so far,_

_To be right where you are, how old is your soul?_

He kisses every inch of skin on her neck, stopping to pay particular attention to the spots he knows drive her mad. He never forgot the things that turn her on. Truthfully, he never could. She wants him to stay there longer but he doesn't linger. "I won't ever give up on us, no matter what. There's nothing they could've done to me that would make me give up or walk away from what we have. We took our time diving into this and we're worth the struggle."

_I won't give up on us,_

_Even if the skies get rough,_

_I'm giving you all my love_

_I'm still looking up._

He trails his lips down each of her arms, stopping to kiss each finger and paying special attention to the one where her engagement ring rests. There should be a wedding band there too, and she instantly sees the regret in his eyes. "They took our wedding day from us, but that's all they'll ever get. I'm going to make this right, Kate. Whenever you're ready, I'll place the ring that's missing on this finger."

_And when you're need your space,_

_To do some navigating,_

_I'll be here patiently waiting,_

_To see what you find._

She knows where he's going next and as his lips make contact with the fading scar between her breasts, she sighs. Ever since that stormy night when she came to him and he first saw her scar, he's done this. It's so much a part of who they both are, it may be on her body, but it's their scar. "This is our proof of how much we can endure. Even the strongest warriors have scars; it's what reminds them of where they've been and how far they've come."

_Cause even the stars they burn,_

_Some even fall to the earth,_

_We've got a lot to learn,_

_But God knows we're worth it._

When he places his lips against her right breast she can't help but arch off the bed. Two months of sleeping in a lonely bed have her even more sensitive than usual. She wants his talented tongue to work over her nipple so bad she's practically shaking with need, but he's not ready for that yet. He only kisses around the spot where she wants him the most and then pays the same reverence to her other breast.

She's close to begging him, but she knows he needs this so she focuses on her breathing, trying to calm herself until he's ready. He kisses down her stomach, stopping at the surgical scar that helped save her life. He has a scar in almost the same place now, a battle scar that he doesn't remember receiving but shows his strength nonetheless.

She whimpers when his finger traces lightly over the scar, his touch setting her skin on fire for more.

"I will never walk away from you, never. This was just a test for us, just another proof that we are meant to be together. We've gone through so much and we've grown so close. We're going to get back to where we were and then we're going to be even better. We're in this, always."

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away,_

_So easily I'm here to stay and make the difference,_

_That I can make._

_Our differences they do a lot to teach,_

_Us how to use the tools and gifts we got,_

_Yeah we got a lot at stake._

_And in the end you're still my friend,_

_At least we did intend for us to work, we didn't _

_Break, we didn't burn._

_We had to learn how to bend, without the world caving in,_

_I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not_

_And who I am._

Finally, he reaches for her pants, undoing the button and zipper and peeling them down her legs. She almost cries again when he slides her panties off right after. He keeps her legs pressed together, paying the same attention to each one as he did her arms. "I've always admired your legs, from the first moment I met you. I admire them even more now. You're so beautiful, Kate. Thank you for never giving up on finding me and for pushing forward and living your life while I was gone. I can't imagine how hard it was on you, but you persevered."

She reaches for him as he moves back up her body, but he stops his movement at her stomach. "I haven't touched or tasted you in two months. Let me make up for all of the lonely nights you spent in this bed."

He runs his hands up the inside of her legs slowly pushing her thighs apart. Her hand finds purchase in his hair as he presses his lips to her throbbing center. Finally, he stops his reverent worshipping of her body and joins in the fire she's been feeling since he started.

She cries out when his tongue traces over her clit, flicking the swollen nub before softly sucking it into his hot, wet mouth. He has her on the edge of falling apart in seconds and oh she missed his talented tongue.

As soon as he slips a finger into her wet, throbbing heat she breaks apart, clenching around him as the entire room fades away. She whimpers when he removes his finger, the mind blowing orgasm he just gave her not nearly enough to quench the thirst of two months without him.

He kisses her, hard and unrelenting and this time she doesn't let him pull away so quickly. She wraps her legs around him when she feels his erection settle between her legs. "I missed you so much, Castle. I tried not to lose my hope, but I started to wonder if I'd ever get to have you like this again. I dreamed about you every night and I would wake up to empty, cold sheets and cry myself back to sleep."

He presses another chaste kiss to her lips. "I'm so sorry, Kate. I'm here now, and I promise I'll walk through hell to keep from ever leaving you again. I missed you too."

She lifts her hips slightly, moaning when it causes his erection to brush against her over-sensitized clit. "Make love to me, please. It's the only part of our connection that's missing."

She reaches down, taking hold of his length and placing it at her entrance. He pushes into her slowly, letting her adjust to being filled with him again. It's almost overwhelming as her tight, wet heat wraps around him and he leans down to take a taut nipple into his mouth. She mewls and arches her back, pressing him further into her.

He starts thrusting slowly, in and out, until the need becomes too much and he has to pick up his pace. She rolls her hips, meeting him every time he thrusts into her. It doesn't take long before they're both on the edge and her moans get louder when he hits the spot inside her that only he's ever been able to reach.

"Yes, yes, oh Rick, so good."

He reaches down to the place where they're joined and lightly rubs his thumb over her clit. She arches even more, her lithe body curling almost in half as she shakes with pleasure. He pulls his mouth off her breast, watching her as he continues thrusting and applies pressure to her clit.

"Come with me Kate, come on, let me feel you babe."

His words are all it takes to break her apart and as her walls start to contract around him, her mouth open in a silent scream, he breaks too, spilling his release inside her.

He collapses on top of her, her arms wrapping around him holding him close. He barely registers her whispers of 'I Love You' over and over and he whispers them back to her. He stays like that for as long as she wants, letting their connection ground them and committing this moment of reconnection to memory.


End file.
